Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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