You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
