the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
