I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
