When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she looked like the before picture.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
