your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
