I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
