yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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