He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
