Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it's like iHOP with fire
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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