So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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