mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
