i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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