yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
