Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
