I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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