why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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