Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
