You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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