i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
