Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish

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(469): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.

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(315): View more from New York

He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.

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(850): View more from Florida

So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.

(1-414): View more from Wisconsin

That is like, the point of shorts

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(518): View more from New York

I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"

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(757): View more from Virginia

Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.

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