Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
