Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
