so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
