i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
