she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Randomize
