just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
