Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
