East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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