4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
