and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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