we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
