wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
