on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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