fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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