I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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