I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I love you. Go after that dick
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize