I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
