Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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