Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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