This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
