? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
