i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
