bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
