Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
