we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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