like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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