I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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