Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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