Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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