Don't you send me to vm
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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