And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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