im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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