Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
