R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
