So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
40s are totally the cure
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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