just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
