Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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