Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I am naked and annoyed.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
