We won't sleep together?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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