her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize