he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think my nap took me to another dimension
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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