woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
